If You Are A Man Asking A Woman
Courage is that element that will make or break your ability to ask for a date. You can learn to have courage by taking on the mental attitude that you are going to ask, no matter what the outcome. Remember that a rejection may not necessarily be based on your looks or perceived social status. Women are impressed by men who are confident and bold, but not pushy. Courage is an aphrodisiac. Always look a woman straight in the eye, don't hover over her, especially if you are bigger, and take your time. Women feel safe with men who are gentle, yet self-confident. You can get a feel for whether or not a woman might accept a date proposal from you by making eye contact from a distance, smiling at her, saying "hi!", and waiting to see if she returns your gesture. If she does not return your gesture, this does not necessarily mean that she would not go out with you. Women are conditioned to react somewhat shyly to male advances. Many women are as reluctant to boldly return your glance, smile, or "hi!", as men are reluctant to chance a rejection. This is where the real courage comes in. Gentle persistence very often pays off. Your not being in a rush signals to a woman that you are willing to take your time in other areas of a potential relationship. It also signals devotion when you patiently
"fight" for her attention. This is the classic art of pursuit.
Once she feels safe to engage you, introduce yourself and tell her you would like to get to know her. A home date is not recommended for a first date, even though most women would feel very flattered to have a man prepare a meal for them. Have a plan before you ask. Do something very public together. Whatever you do, don't expect sexual favors in return for the money you spent on the date. This is a form of prostitution, not of romantic courting.
If You Are A Woman Asking A Man
It has probably crossed the minds of most women at least once in their life to ask a man out. Because it is still somewhat unconventional, it does take quite a bit of courage. It can be a hurdle to overcome thinking that you might be rejected on the basis of your looks. Men are very visual, it's true, but they are impressed by a woman who can put them at ease, speak intelligently, and show appreciation for them. So, it you are not the most beautiful woman in his world, don't assume that you cannot be the object of his affection. If it would put you more at ease, get his attention first in some other way (for instance, in his business setting, discuss a business matter) to test his reaction to you. Then if it feels right, make your move!
Composure is a key element for a woman in asking a man out. Men tend to take women seriously who are composed, as opposed to giddy or nervous, because composure infers maturity, intelligence, and levelheadedness. Asking someone out is usually based on a physical/sexual attraction, the ultimate goal of which is a serious relationship. To get to the point of romance with anyone is a delicate undertaking, but that is a big part of what gives falling in love the rush it has. It's the pursuit that is so thrilling. This thrill is a bit reversed, however, when the woman pursues. Some men feel relieved when a woman asks them out--it eliminates chancing rejection. Let him pick up the pursuit after that. He
probably won't feel like a man for long if you remain dominant. Ladies, remember that a man is most inclined toward and is more likely to stay with a woman who enjoys and participates in his world--camping, fishing, sports, skiing, etc. Give him every reason to be romantic! But
don't neglect yourself in the process. Remember that self-confidence, and to a certain degree, self-sufficiency is an aphrodisiac for a man!
Hottest Book On This Subject Right Now!
It is estimated that 83% of divorces occur because couples didn't ask these questions while they were dating. How can you bring up questions about sex, money and religion without offending your date? How can you really know someone who lives far away? Ask them the 1,000 Questions for Couples. It's fun and insightful. Receive 4 questions in your email each day that you and your partner should answer to get to know each other.
The questions start off easy like "Has anyone dear to you died? How did you handle it" and "About what things are you most selfish." They slowly progress (just like your relationship should) until you get to those questions that you simply can't avoid if you are going to commit your life to living with someone. There are questions on drug addictions, abuse, child rearing, finances and lots of questions about sex. And because these questions are coming from a book, you don't feel like "you" are asking them.
While there are a lot of questions in this book that are crucial for couples in the dating stage, the majority of the questions are useful for people who are already married. If you value your relationship, I urge you to ask these 1000 Questions for Couples.
Here are 3 questions for starters:
1) What rituals could be added to our relationship on a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly basis that would help us to remain close?
2) Do you need to hear "I love you" or similar words on a regular basis
from your partner?
3) What does my family do that annoys you?
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