If you are a husband works out of the home/wife works in the home couple

    Wives: Set a limit to the time you spend cleaning the house and taking care of other related matters each day. Try setting this limit for one hour before your husband comes home. Give yourself this time to finalize any unexpected incursion on your time limit. If the unexpected matter is likely to take up more than ten minutes of this winddown hour, postpone any further involvement, and stick to your decision. Don't start another project in this winddown hour.
    If you have a child(ren) and the unexpected tends to be the rule, make an agreement with your child(ren) that you will all practice relaxing for the hour before your lover comes home. If your child(ren) is small, and this would be good in any case to show solidarity between the spouses and establish a family ritual, have them sit down with your husband and discuss what a fine family practice this would be. If you have a baby(ies), you will have to work around your baby's needs. The trick here is to keep calm and maintain spousal support for the matter. If you have a sick or disabled child(ren) who needs an unusual amount of care, make special arrangements with your husband to set aside a specific time(s) for romance. If you have an older child(ren) who can be in the home for the hour before your husband comes home, make a fair trade of time babysitting for something your older child would value.
    Remember to give your husband time to unwind after work, just as you have taken your hour to unwind. Children should know that you put your husband first. Don't forget to date your husband! Bring the adventure and eroticism that he craves back into his life! If you need creative, economical ideas, click here!

Husbands: Excellent communication is a must when you come home from work. If you have troubles on your mind, let your wife know in the kindest way possible that you need to be alone for a while, and try to give your wife a timeframe for your winddown. Remember that you will generally get out of your wife what you put in. She will not feel loved, if you are cold, mean, disrespectful, or rejecting. If on the other hand, you control any anger you brought from the workplace and are patient, kind, and communicative with her, she will be far more likely to warm up to your romantic advances. Try reading Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus together.
    Most women become very upset if their husband mistreats the child(ren). This is not a good vantage point from which to initiate romance. Family squabbles can kill romance. Get your own life in order, and you will probably be amazed at how your family falls in line under your leadership. Never disrespect your wife in front of the children. Children should know that you put your wife first. Date your wife! You have the power to pursue her and convince her that you are her dream stud!
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If you are both working outside the home
    You will have to come to a mutual agreement about the division of responsibility in the home. It is truly unfair for a husband to expect his wife to shoulder the entire responsibility of housekeeping and childcare, if she is working as many hours outside the home as he is. Remember that romance (a concept that is sometimes synonymous with foreplay) will be unlikely if your wife feels unable to focus on romance because she is overwhelmed with responsibilities. Likewise, a husband should be able to expect a certain standard of cleanliness and order in the home, if he is doing his fair share. You may have to set specific times for romance, if your responsibilities at home require a maintenance schedule. If you have a child (ren), there may be extracurricular activities during the evening after school or your child(ren) may be so small that you feel a pressing need to spend every moment you can with them. If either of these is the case, and you feel you cannot squeeze romance in sideways, there are several things you might be able to do to remedy this situation:
    1. Set up a schedule for transportation of your child(ren) to afterschool activities by another parent involved in the activities in exchange for transportating theirs. If the activities are something only your family is involved in, find a reliable teenager for the transportation. Do you have something you could trade, if you are short on money? A dip in the pool, a ride on your horse, or offer to have your children wash the teenager's car on a regular basis. If you have to be the re in person with your child(ren) at these activities, you might want to rethink priorities. It's great for the children to have these experiences, but is it really necessary to sacrifice your marriage for these experiences? Children should know that you put your spouse first. Date your spouse again, and have fun!
    2. Find a couple(s) who have the same problem, and trade responsibilities that will give everyone some time for romance. Is the need for romance (also at times synonymous with intimacy) such a secret that we should be embarrassed to negotiate for the well-being of our marriage?
    And what about shopping, washing clothes, cleaning house, etc. for a two- job couple? Try to establish a specific day when certain household responsibilities will be taken care of. Don't try to do everything in one day, unless you and your spouse agree to this and can carry it out in a supportive way. Assign responsibilities to the children who are capable of executing them.
    If these suggestions don't meet your specific needs, email Sharon@Romantic
Flair.com with your concerns. See RomanticFlair's Privacy Policy.


If you are both working in the home

    This arrangement, perhaps more than any other, necessitates excellent communication skills and a supportive attitude that never gives up. Not many couples can work side-by-side. If your job or business is time-consuming computer work, and/or you have a child(ren) at home, the stress of this seemingly convenient arrangement can weigh on your romantic interests with your spouse. Try to prioritize your spending, and hire a sitter so you can go out on dates with your spouse. If you are at odds with your spouse for any reason, call a truce and let your spouse know that you want to reinstate romance. Agree to wipe the slate clean, and start over again. Check the other two categories above for ideas. If your marriage is still in good shape, go out with your spouse and pretend you just met!